Friday, 1 August 2008

Dear Jordan (sorry - 'Katie')

I was deeply saddened to hear about your enforced exclusion from a prestigious polo event. I imagine it must have been an absolutely shattering blow, a bit like finding out you've lost a loved one in combat or looking into the toilet bowl to find you're pissing blood.

However, I have to make one slight correction to your heartfelt plea for social equality. When you say that "It's pure snobbery. However good a horsewoman I am, I'm also a glamour model. That embarrassed them", I beg to differ. It's because you're an absolute fucking twat, mate.

Heartfelt regards,

Dear Noah and the Whale

Congratulations, cunts, on having birthed the most excruciating irritant since SARS.

Next time the people cry out for a Chris Difford cover of the Teletubbies theme, gizza quick bell, can you? That way I can plug my ears with tar to prevent me ever having to stomach the bastard.


PS - The Squid and the Whale was crap.

PPS - So's Noah Baumbach.

PPPS - So are you.