Monday, 16 April 2012

Dear Hollywood

I notice that, in addition to bunging Justin Timberlake into whatever crappy rom-com you've got him as the snappy urbane lead in this week, you've started casting Rihanna in films. We're doing this now, are we? Great.

However, I can't help but think that you might be missing a bit of a trick here by not using her to plough a fine line in Schwarzenegger-style puns. Frankly, the only way I can imagine she'd be any good in Battleship is if she played a mechanic, and halfway through got to utter the line:

"CAPTAIN! Something is caught in our propellor!

- Ella, ella, ay, ay, ay..."

Thankyou, thankyou...

Pundeniably hilarious regards,