I've recently been made aware of a fascinating concept known as the 'CHRISTIAN SIDE HUG'. Supposedly this is a recent innovation designed to combat the kind of awkward, unchaste groin bumpage which can potentially occur during the traditional frontal hug much beloved by the rest of humanity with, y'know, a brain and that.
With this in mind, I sincerely look forward to the day when I can have the following exchange with an unsuspecting Christian lady:
SHE: "Erm, is that a statue of Jesus in your pocket?"
HE: "No, you've given me a raging stiffy, you sexy God-botherer".