Friday, 15 July 2011

Dear Charlie Gilmour, The Sun's Headline Writers

- Ooooohhhh, unlucky, son! While I can't help but feel that sixteen months at Her Majesty's pleasure is perhaps a little harsh for the civic disobedience equivalent of whipping your knob out and waving it about a bit, one suspects that it's probably a fairly just reward for the years of aural torture inflicted upon by us by your Dad's tedious band.

And so now then, The Sun - time for your hacks to go to work. We all know that you can always be relied upon for a decent pun or two in a time of crisis, so here are a few suggestions to run alongside the story in tomorrow's issue:

A Momentary Lapse of Reason

Goodbye Blue Sky

Comfortably Dumb


The Wall (Of the Jail Cell That You'll Be Sat Staring At for the Forseeable)

Jog On You Silly Dipstick

The Division Bell-End

And - why not, indeed? -

Dark Side of the Hoon

Bin-throwing regards,

PS - Next time, Charlie, you might want to try not offering up a defence as limp as: "Your Honour, with all due respect, I was tripping off my tits".

PPS - RE: that get-up - did you think you were on your way to see the new Harry Potter or something?