Thursday, 10 December 2009

Dear Simon Cowell

I enjoyed your branding of the highly commendable campaign to get Rage Against the Machine to Number 1 for Christmas as "cynical" and "stupid". You were, presumably, thinking of your own crass, synthetic circus freakshow while conjuring these magical words from the air.

With regard to your assertion that it's "quite a cynical campaign geared at me which is actually going to spoil the party for these three", it's perhaps worth noting that nobody has the automatic right to a Number 1 single.

And as for this... "I also think it's incredibly dismissive of the people who watch and enjoy the show where they treat our audience as if they're stupid" - no, indeed. You would presumably much rather have the monopoly on that particular pleasure yourself.

I hope De La Rocha and co trounce the shit out of your latest manufactured fly-by-night in this year's Xmas chart. Not just for offering a triumph of inspired democratic protest over blithe, unquestioning consumption, but also for the possibly that they might then show up on Top of the Pops to scream "Fuck you, I won't crawl down your chimney".


PS - They really are stupid, you know. Oh, what am I saying? Of course you know. Your empire absolutely depends on it.