Tuesday, 25 November 2008

Dear Akon

Inspired by the eloquent rhetoric of your latest affront to music, I grabbed the missus firmly by the tits and told her that I wanted to "make love right now".

Unsurprisingly, she slapped the shit out of me and I was forced to spend the rest of the night on the sofa. Last time I take any kind of cue from a shit-witted, kiddy-grinding, chainsaw-voiced crunk troll with eyes like a clubbed seal.


PS - She resolutely wouldn't let me "smack that", either. Fuck knows how you get so many birds, especially with that ridiculous 'tache.