Dear Nadine Dorries

20 grand on PR help from 'Media Intelligence Partners'?

Not entirely sure that represents great value-for-money for John Q. Taxpayer - unless of course you needed some help buffing your image as a pissing, moaning, sour-faced bint hell-bent on fucking things up royally for young women everywhere, in which case they've done a right good job.

Nice to know also that our tax £££ have been put to 'good' use funding your ongoing campaign to impose further restrictions on abortion terms and pepper sex education with outmoded moralistic dribble about abstinence and this'n'that. Bonzer!

Can I submit this as my entry by clicking the 'Tell Nadine What You Think' on your webshite, you vile shrew?

Regards,
Davis.

PS - Nice lamp, by the way. Did we pay for that?

PPS - You can pipe down too, mind, Dollar bloke - admitting that you know "nothing about Mid Beds" probably not the best way of establishing your candidacy for anything other than Desperate, Self-Serving, Attention-Grubbing Shit of the Year.

- Aaaaah! I feel positively cleansed...