I know that by now we humble commuters shouldn't have come to expect anything vaguely approaching 'news' from your reactionary, gossip-fuelled joke of a paper, but this is just getting ridiculous. I suppose in a way though that it's comforting to know that while the world keeps turning, one daily rag can always be relied upon to lead the way in alarmist food-based headlines. To wit:
And:
And: