Sunday, 18 January 2009

Dear The Sun, Its Readers, Bile-Spewing Hypocrites Everywhere

I'm assuming that as an addendum, the byline to this page-topper read "...Up until we get a whiff of what you and your buddies may or may not have not said to each other in private jest up to 3 whole years ago".

I'm intrigued, sirs - what precisely is the bowel-quakingly scandalous revelation you're flogging this week? Member of Royal Family makes verbal blunder? Say it ain't so! Bad language and/or un-PC camaraderie endemic in Armed Forces? Getouttatown! Frankly, I haven't been this shocked since finding out Kate Moss hoovered coke up her schnozz. Max Clifford must be convulsing on the floor.

Predictable arse-rag that you are, I'm giving you double shitlist-inclusion points for wording your latest Prince-related "crisis" as HARRY RACIST 'PAKI' JIBE on the cover. Not Harry Racist Jibe, New Harry Race Row or Harry Accused of Racism - you specifically, it seems, just wanted some way of just getting the word 'Paki' on there in bold letters.

Your message to "our boys" in a nutshell, then: cheers for all your hard work defending the nation. Just don't say anything silly while you're out there being mined to fuckery or we'll bang you to the cross for your trouble.

The whole affair was, of course, so appalling that you made sure the offending video itself was plunked straight onto your website for all to see. I'm sure your readers were suitably shocked by this right royal outrage, and read the article with a heavy heart while grumbling fiercely about immigrants, national pride and "lost Britain" on their way to a BNP rally.

As warm regards as I'm able to muster for a group of such worthless, festering cunts,

No comments: